It’s All About People: Why Great Leaders Talk Less and Listen More

Great leaders create space for others to contribute.

Modern leaders don’t build trust by talking more, they build it by listening better.

For much of my business career, leadership rewarded decisiveness. Leaders were expected to give direction, solve problems quickly, and keep things moving. Meetings often centered around the leader speaking while others listened.

In fast-moving operational environments, that approach can feel efficient.

But over time, I learned something important: just because people are quiet doesn’t mean they agree. Often, the best ideas, concerns, and solutions never surface because leaders unintentionally dominate the conversation.

The problem isn’t usually intention. It’s awareness.

Why Leaders Think They Listen

Most leaders believe they are good listeners. Research suggests otherwise.

Studies referenced in Listening: The Forgotten Skill show that while we spend roughly 40% of our communication time listening, very few of us ever receive formal training in how to do it effectively. On average, people are only about 25% effective as listeners.

That gap matters.

In leadership, poor listening creates more than miscommunication. It creates disengagement. Employees stop speaking up. Meetings become performative. Leaders hear updates instead of truth.

And the higher leaders rise, the more dangerous this becomes.

Elephant or Hippopotamus?

In The Friction Project, Robert Sutton and Huggy Rao ask a memorable leadership question:

Are you an elephant or a hippopotamus?

Elephants have big ears. Hippos have big mouths.

Most leaders believe they are elephants. Under pressure, many lead like hippos.

I’ve seen this firsthand in organizations. Leaders genuinely want input, but after asking a question, they quickly answer it themselves. Others begin disengaging because they sense the decision has already been made.

Listening isn’t passive. It requires restraint, curiosity, humility, and patience.

The Shift From Telling to Asking

One of the most powerful shifts a leader can make is moving from “tell mode” to “ask mode.”

In The Coaching Habit, Michael Bungay Stanier’s coaching framework encourages leaders to ask more questions and create space for others to think. That sounds simple. It isn’t.

Asking better questions means:

• resisting the urge to solve immediately

• allowing silence

• inviting perspectives that differ from your own

• and genuinely considering what you hear

The leaders who build strong cultures aren’t necessarily the smartest people in the room. They’re the people who create environments where others feel safe contributing honestly.

That’s where psychological safety begins.

Practical Application: Three Listening Shifts Leaders Can Make Today

1. Track Your Talk Ratio

In your next meeting, estimate how much time you spend talking versus listening. Then ask someone else to estimate it too. The answers are often surprisingly different.

2. Speak Last

Before offering your opinion, invite others to share theirs first. Leaders who speak last often hear more honest and creative input.

3. Ask One More Question

Before responding, pause and ask:

“What else should we consider?”

Small changes like these can dramatically improve trust, engagement, and decision quality.

Closing Thought

Leadership begins with people.

And people don’t simply want direction, they want to feel heard, respected, and valued.

The leaders who make the greatest impact are rarely the loudest voices in the room. They are the ones who create the conditions where others feel safe enough to contribute their best thinking.

Talk less. Ask more. Listen deeply.

This article is part of a collaboration between Dan Sitner (Clear Purpose Coaching) and Bill Sommers (Learning Omnivores) exploring how leadership must evolve for today’s world.